Why are laboratory scientists switching from rats to lawyers for their experiments? 1. Lawyers are more plentiful than rats, 2. the lab technicians don't get as attached to the lawyers, 3. there are some things a rat just won't do, and 4. neither the animal rights activists nor the human rights activists get all upset about it. . . . . . . . . . . What's the only disadvantage to using lawyers instead of rats in laboratory experiments? It's harder to extrapolate the test results to human beings. . . . . . . . . . . Why should lawyers be buried 100 feet deep? Because deep down, they're really good people. . . . . . . . . . . What educational programs should the United States support to alleviate the burgeoning US-Japan trade imbalance? Japanese language lessons for lawyers. . . . . . . . . . What is a criminal lawyer? Redundant. . . . . . . . . . What are lawyers good for? They make used car salesmen look good. . . . . . . . . . What did the lawyer name his daughter? Sue. . . . . . . . . . . And his son? Bill. . . . . . . . . . . Why is it that so many lawyers have broken noses? From chasing parked ambulances. . . . . . . . . . What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? An offer you can't understand. . . . . . . . . . .What happens when you cross a pig with a lawyer? Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do. . . . . . . . . . . Why are lawyers never attacked by sharks? Professional courtesy. . . . . . . . . What's the definition of "a shame" (as in, "that's a shame")? When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff. What is the definition of a "crying shame"? When there was an empty seat. . . . . . . . . . . How many corporate attorneys does it take to change a light bulb? Who knows, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant. . . . . . . . . . . How many defense attorneys does it take to change a light bulb? How many can you afford? . . . . . . . . . .How many divorce attorneys does it take to change a light bulb? It only takes one divorce attorney to change your light bulb to her light bulb. . . . . . . . . . . How many personal injury attorneys does it take to change a light bulb? Three -- one to turn the bulb, one to shake him off the ladder, and the third to sue the ladder company. . . . . . . . . . . How many contract attorneys does it take to change a light bulb? Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "Lawyer", and the party of the second part, also known as "Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entryway, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the parties. The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to, the following steps: 1.) The party of the first part (Lawyer) shall, with or without elevation at his option, by means of a chair, stepstool, ladder or any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and rotate the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a counter-clockwise direction,this point being non-negotiable. 2.) Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part (Light Bulb) becomes separated from the party of the third part ("Receptacle"), the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of disposing of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a manner consistent with all applicable state, local and federal statutes. 3.) Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of beginning installation of the party of the fourth part ("New Light Bulb"). This installation shall occur in a manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in step one of this self-same document, being careful to note that the rotation should occur in a clockwise direction, this point also being non-negotiable. NOTE: The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the first part (Lawyer), by any or all persons authorized by him, the objective being to produce the most possible revenue for the party of the fifth part, also known as "Partnership."

St. Mary's River, Page Two.

Rivers exhibit many characters and the St. Mary's was no exception. We'd be paddling through a sinuous section -- first a curve this way and then that way, over, under, through and around deadfalls-- when we'd break out into a long, wide, relatively straight section. We'd paddle that a little ways and then it'd be back to the narrow curvy river.

Sugar sand.

Reflective water.

There are always moments for quiet reflection on canoe trips. It'd been a good paddle and Ed was probably thinking, "This porkskins gorp idea isn't working."

We are now in the part of the river that is affected by the tide by as much as 3 feet.

We camped here for two nights, a few miles above historic Trader's Hill.

We met a fellow at the sandbar, up from Jacksonville for a little fishing, who told us about an oxbow lake not visible from the river. He explained how to find it and that there were some monster alligators in it. His story was that there's a jonboat kept beside the pond for people to use. You could be fishing from that boat in the pond, and suddenly feel the boat heave. You look into the water to find the cause and see a big alligator beneath it. We opted to not take the jonboat out. We were disappointed to see only a couple alligators in the pond and they were on the small side. The pond's a couple hundred yards off the river and is very pretty. Woods come to the edge of the water for its entire circumference. In those woods are some pretty good sized cypress trees with some pretty good sized cypress knees. J.D. is about 5-9 or 5-10. This knee looks to be over 7 feet tall.

This fellow climbed about three quarters of the way up this cypress, then dove into the river. Then he came back and climbed all the way to the tip top, from where, after balancing on a little limb, he again dove into the river.

Rivers were the sites of the first baptizing. The practice continues today. While the fellow was diving out of the tree, there were baptizings about 50 yards downriver.

The take-out. Traders Hill is a site of considerable importance in both the history of Georgia and that of the country. It was the point highest up the St. Mary's which sailing ships could reach. Consequently, there were trails to Traders Hill from all over the southeast as early settlers and Native Americans, alike, made their way to there to trade for supplies brought from around the world on the ships. Our the trip took a toll on Ed's wardrobe.

Explore another river. . .



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