As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be
greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and enchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive God to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life
keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.
A human being is a part of a whole, called by us 'universe',
a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself,
his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest...
a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a
kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to
affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free
ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace
all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.
Albert Einstein
If I have the gift of prophecy
and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge,
and if I have a faith that can move mountains,
but have not love,
I am nothing.
If I give all I possess to the poor
and surrender my body to the flames of martyrdom,
but have not love,
I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
But where there are prophecies, they will cease;
where there are tongues, they will be stilled;
where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
For we know in part and we prophesy in part,
but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.
When I was a child,
I talked like a child,
I thought like a child,
I reasoned like a child.
When I became a man,
I put childish ways behind me.
Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror;
then we shall see face to face.
Now I know in part; then I shall know fully,
even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.
But the greatest of these is love.
(Joel's note: as my daughter reads that last line,
love is more important than faith.)
1st Corinthians, Chapter 13
It was just a day at Darien Lake, an upstate New York amusement park. My daughter, her friend, and I were standing in the usual long, snaking line to ride the park's roller coaster, called the Viper. It was our first ride of the day, and we like roller coasters, both wood and steel.
In line with us was a group of teenage African-American girls. They were passing the long wait by joking and laughing and just having a good time. In their care was a little girl, about nine years old, just barely tall enough to reach the magic mark of amusement park adulthood that earns access to the Viper.
When we reached the final point-of-no-return before launching, I noticed that the little girl was an odd number in her group, and therefore, without someone with whom to ride.
I hesitated. After all, I was a stranger and a white man. On the other hand, I was with my own kid and her friend, so, I would probably be considered "safe."
I didn't have a fellow rider, either. The older girls suddenly noticed their predicament and were talking about what to do -- where would the little girl ride? I finally mustered the nerve to speak up. "She can ride with me, if she wants."
They asked her. "OK."
They had her get in the chute next to mine. I let her in the car first and pulled down the safety bar. The coaster started up. Then the little girl turned and looked up at me. "Would you hold my hand?"
Shocked inside, I just replied, "Sure."
She put her little hand inside mine, and we climbed the first hill. When we started down, she squeezed my hand for all she was worth, closed her eyes so tightly that they were barely visible slits, and cried as intensely as she possibly could.
We were hurtling out into time and space and the universe together, just the two of us, this little African-American girl and this white Anglo stranger.
I had been there before, but this was new and frightening for her, and she trusted me for her safety and comfort.
Everytime we reached a level area, her eyes opened and she relaxed her grip -- a little. She never let go completely. But whenever we went into a dip or turn, she bore down, and the tears fell again.
At the end of the ride, I think that she was proud of herself. I told her older friends that they should buy her a special "I survived the Viper" button. They smiled and left for other rides.
As our groups turned to go their separate ways, I thought about the little children who had been hurt by adults over the decades and the centuries. I thought about the responsibility that we adults have toward them. I thought about the tremendous privilege inherent in that responsibility. And I thought about trust. This little girl had not bothered to see a stereotype, what I might appear to be on the outside. She just knew that she needed someone to trust.
In just a few moments she had given me the best lesson I have ever had in trust, both how to trust others and how to respect, value, appreciate, and enjoy the trust given by another person.
Years later, I can still feel that little hand inside mine. Thank you, little girl -- I wish I had asked your name.
As human beings on this planet, we are thrown together into many situations and roller coaster rides. We hurtle through space at thousands of miles an hour.
The single most important aspect of our ride is how we treat those in the car with us.
~ Vance Agee ~ (If you pass this story along to friends, please include the author's name. Thank you!)