Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. . . . . . It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. . . . . . Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. . . . . . Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. . . . . . Never test the depth of the water with both feet. . . . . . It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others. . . . . . If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. . . . . . Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. . . . . . If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. . . . . . Don't squat with your spurs on. . . . . . If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. . . . . . Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield. . . . . . Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. . . . . . Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance. . . . . . Duct tape is like the force; it has a light side & a dark side, and it holds the universe together. . . . . . There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works. . . . . . Experience is the sinking feeling you have made this mistake before. . . . . . Never miss a good chance to shut up. . . . . . . . . .A guy gets home from work one night and hears a voice. The voice tells him, "Quit your job, sell your house, take your money, go to Vegas." The man is disturbed at what he hears and ignores the voice. The next day when he gets home from work, the same thing happens. The voice tells him, "Quit your job, sell your house, take your money, go to Vegas." Again the man ignores the voice, though he is very troubled by the event. Every day, day after day, the man hears the same voice when he gets home from work, "Quit your job, sell your house, take your money, go to Vegas." Each time the man hears the voice he becomes increasingly upset. Finally, after two weeks, he succumbs to the pressure. He does quit his job, sells his house, takes his money and heads to Vegas. The moment the man gets off the plane in Vegas, the voice tells him, "Go to Harrahs." So, he hops in a cab and rushes over to Harrahs. As soon as he sets foot in the casino, the voice tells him, "Go to the roulette table." The man does as he is told. When he gets to the roulette table, the voice tells him, "Put all your money on 17." Nervously, the man cashes in his money for chips and then puts them all on 17. The dealer wishes the man good luck and spins the roulette wheel. Around and around the ball caroms. The man anxiously watches the ball as it slowly loses speed until finally it settles into number... 21. The voice says, "Crud.". . . . . . . . . An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do anything you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you that I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week, and that I'll do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend; but a talking frog, now that's cool."

Broad River

Day Trips, Page Two


Go, Angel, Go!


The third trip, which I mention in the Okefenokee Swamp pages, talking about J.D.'s broken collarbone and the brace he was wearing, was the first trip in my Old Town Tripper. I'd decided, despite our less than stellar experiences on our first two river trips, that I'd buy a canoe. So I sold the bass boat and bought the Tripper. Our third trip was the Apalachee River, from just below High Shoals and to the take out just below what is now known as "Collarbone Rapids," about a mile or so below the 441 bridge.

Now, let me show you how to do it backwards.


J.D. and I were in the Tripper. Friends Jeff McLellan and Kes Roberts were in Jeff's aluminum Grumman. Even though Jeff was an experienced paddler, having been paddling for more than twenty years, and even having taught it at the University, J.D. and I paddled circles around them that day. The rocks would grab the Grumman while the Tripper just slid right over them. It had been a glorious day of paddling. No mishaps. Beautiful weather. Collarbone Rapids is a beautiful Class II+, III rapid amongst a set of three islands in the river. Looking down the river, the first island is on the left about twenty feet from the bank. The second is in the middle of the river and begins immediately after the first. The third is on the right and begins immediately after the second

The Big Man


We all got out on the first island and walked down to the end to scout the rapid. We figured that, if one indeed chose to run the rapid, the best way would be to take the swift current in the narrow channel between the bank and the first island. When you get to the end of the island, hang a right and go down the long chute, through the rooster tail in the pool at the bottom. Then, one could eddy out at the second island and figure out what to do next from there. That is, of course, should one actually opt to run it. Jeff is "Mr. Safety" and I trusted his judgment. He said to Kes, tapping him on the elbow, "Come on. Let's do it." WHAT?!?

Go Patty Go!


J.D. and I watched as Jeff and Kes came down the narrow channel, made the right, down the chute, into the pool and eddied out at the second island. They'd done it and made it look easy. I said to J.D., "Come on. Let's do it." "Aw, Dad," the memories of our disatrous first two trips all too fresh in his mind. I said, "We're going to do it. In 60 seconds we'll either be swimming or on that island with Jeff and Kes." "Awww, Dad." My legs were like rubber as we made our way to the top of the island and got into our boat.

The Rivertripper's stylin' now!


We got into the boat. The overhanging limbs nearly slapped us in the face as we rode the swift current of the narrow channel between the island and the bank. The canoe seemed to turn itself at the end of the chute, avoiding a big rock, and head down the long chute toward the rooster tail in the pool far below. The next thing I remember is bursting through the rooster tail. I commenced to hollering, "Yahoo!!! We did it! We did it, J.D.!" We eddied over to the second island where Jeff was waiting. He grabbed the side of the canoe and pulled it over. Then he extended his hand for J.D.

Ahhhh...Friends


J.D. took hold of Jeff's hand and stepped out of the boat onto a moss covered rock. Whereupon he slipped, landing directly on his left shoulder. Then he commenced to put up a hollering you can hardly imagine. Jeff has a Ph.D. in P.E., something to do with physiology, and he commenced to tap J.D.s shoulder and collarbone in an effort to determine the location of the injury. But, at no point he tapped did he elicit any kind of reaction from J.D., so we figured, good, no breaks. We'll just give him a little time to let the pain ease up.

J.D. demonstrates how to finesse a Class I chute.

We were only half way down the rapid, and I still needed him to at least help me peel out into the current around that big rock. J.D. kept complaining but his pain did finally ease up, and he was able to "draw right" and get us into the current. That was all I needed. I guided the boat the rest of the way. When we got home and J.D. took his shirt off, I saw a knot right next to his sternum. I said, "We're going to the doctor." X-rays showed that his clavicle was broken clean in two right there at his sternum. That was our third trip in a canoe and that's why J.D.'s wearing a brace in the Okefenokee Swamp. After our near disastrous first three canoe trips, you'd think we were being sent some kind of message. But, our fourth trip in a canoe, the Okefenokee and Suwanee, was an absolutley wonderful trip.


Print a copy of a map to the Broad River Outpost. And tell Michael Moody about how you got there.


Continue down the river. . . .



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